The Humans Guide to Avoiding Llama Spit

It’s truly amazing – the number of people that Lynne and I meet on our travels who take one look at the Llama in the back of the pick-up and tell us how nasty and vicious llamas are, how they spit all the time and how they met a llama just once and it spat at them.

How can that possibly be?

Is this information taught in high school?

I would like to take this opportunity to blow a hole in the popular belief that Llamas like to spit. Llamas DO NOT like spitting!

Llamas have an extremely acute sense of smell and they can sense danger a long time before it appears. Spitting is a defense mechanism, which is a hundred times more distressing for a llama than it is for a human. The smell of the spit, which is simply partly digested food, destroys the sense of smell of both the spitter and the spittee and both stand with mouths open, drooling and impotent after just a single spit. For animals in the wild this can pose a serious danger. With their sense of smell disabled by spitting, they become considerably more vulnerable to predators.

Humans are more likely to be concerned about the juicy green stains on their favourite shirt than the smell….although a face-full from a REALLY angry llama will test even the strongest human constitution!

Several theories come to mind as to why so many people get spat at by llamas and alpacas for ‘apparently’ no reason.

Approach – The typical method of approaching any animal is to walk straight up to it’s head, stick a hand out and try and stroke it’s neck. You couldn’t find a better way to upset a llama in a matter of seconds than to be so bold as to put your hand on it’s neck. That’s fighting talk in Llama language!

As with any animal, if you surprise a Llama or Alpaca and …….yes, you could get what you deserve!

Llamas have very short tongues and unlike most other species, the mother is unable lick a new born baby. I surmise this as the reason that the camelid is not a touchy-feely type of creature – instead it relies on smell for bonding. Therefore….if you want to bond with a Llama, you have to let it smell you or more accurately, let it smell your breath. The following approach has been found to work well……but not always!

1. Approach the llama, but stop a few feet away. Let the animal make the final move towards you.
2. Keep your arms by your sides. Imagine meeting a huge octopus with several tentacles waving around trying to touch you – you are the octopus and having a similar, scary impact on the llama!
3. Lean forward slightly and let the llama come the last few feet to you. If it does come close and puts it’s nose to your mouth, whisper ‘hello’ – this will help the animal build an olfactory picture of you; what you eat, where you're from and perhaps even your state of health. She's NOT going to stick her tongue in your mouth! As previously mentioned, the llama’s tongue is very short and can protrude no more than half an inch in any case. Neither is she going to slobber on you or pass you some half digested grass to try. A llamas breath is faintly sweet and certainly not disgusting.

Once the animal has taken a quick sniff it will probably just turn away from you in a dismissive manner. You’re done! Some Llamas will ‘blow out’ after sniffing you, in order to clear their assaulted sensory glands allowing them to return to their job of sniffing for danger.

Very occasionally, you may meet a llama or an alpaca that is most intrigued by your smell and will linger for a while, trying to determine everything about you from your breath. Just keep still and allow it. This long lingering ‘kiss’ is rare, but you should feel flattered! Don’t worry about brushing your teeth before llama visiting, ‘minty freshness’ is far more likely to put them off than the smell of cress and onion sandwiches!

The second possibility as to why some people get spat at for no apparent reason is their smell. Llamas are strictly vegetarian – their predators are not. If you eat meat then you will smell like a carnivore and potentially offend the sensitivities of the llama. You might not behave like a predator and you (presumably) won’t look like a predator if the llama is at least used to seeing humans. However, even if you have just finished a Big Mac or a 20oz steak, the llama is far more likely to keep its distance from you than to imperil itself by giving you a grassy gob in the eye.

We already know of plenty of exceptions to shake the foundations of this theory, but it might still be a reasonable consideration. Llamas have different levels of sensitivity and we have one particular llama that likes to linger over Lynne’s breath for far longer than she does mine (nothing personal I’m sure) and yet we are both strict vegetarians.

Handling is another reason why some llamas may spit at the slightest provocation. It’s possible the animal has previously received some rough treatment at the hands of a human and has ‘Human’ in bold and underlined on its list of predators or perhaps the animal may never have been handled by a human before. In both cases time and careful handling can be a great healer.

Finally, Llamas do show emotions, whatever the experts might say. Stroll up to an animal who’s feeling a little off the rails and you might get the llama equivalent of ‘shove off’ in chewed grass. I haven’t experienced it, but I don’t see why humans should be the only creatures to demonstrate bad attitude.

Camelids like space. Just watch them interact with each other and witness their reaction when a llama steps over the unseen boundary line into the space of another llama! Don’t be offended if you get the same treatment!

Top tip - Never wear your best white shirt when visiting camelids!